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(3 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

BE A DEBASER [28 Jul 2005|02:45pm]
[ mood | blank ]

So midway through "Lost" last night I received a call from Tyrell. He thanked me for singing the MC Chris birthday rap to him (he turned 21) then asked me if I wanted to join Hightower, Curt and him for a bit of bar hopping as they were in town and in the mood. I agreed, they picked me up and we were off toward downtown. First we went to some place whose name I don't remember. I think it was called House of Hennessy or Henest House or something. I'm not sure, but I do know that they had a fair amount of animal heads mounted around the joint. Everyone stared us down; I guess we're quite the sight to see when all together. Hightower is tall and goofy looking. Tyrell is black and always smiling. Curt always looks like he faking something. And me...well, I was the only girl in the group. Tyrell, Curt and I sat at a table while Hightower bought a boot of beer for all of us to share and a shot for Tyrell in honor of his birthday. Now there are certain rules you have to follow when you get the boot. Always: drink with the toe pointing out, flick the glass with your finger after drinking and pass it to your left. The boot must never touch the table. Offences such as not adhearing to the rules or getting splashed mean that you have to take another drink. First of all, I don't even like beer so I was choking it down the whole time. And it took forever for us to finish it because Curt couldn't drink since he was D.D. plus the boot was huge! My tiny hands could barely fit around it. So we sat around drinking and talking for the entirety of the boot. Hightower kept trying to convince me he was a gentleman because he burped up into the air or in this collared shirt. He also pre-apologized for talking about some girl's ass. From there we went to the Highlife Lounge, which was totally 70's. Us three drinkers got tanger bombs (Jager and Tang) and Curt got a sloppy joe since that was the only food they served there. Hightower schmoozed around, Curt awkwardly had a conversation with an ex-boyfriend and Tyrell and I engaged ourselves in witty banter while I drank a Coke and Captain. Then we all played video bowling. There were these black and white pictures all over the place and near the game just happened to be a nice Barry Asher collection. We traced his ascent from clean-cut kid to sideburns to full blown Jew 'fro. I kicked ass at first and kept saying, "I rule at video bowling but I suck at life! If only life were more like video bowling!" I ended up losing. By that time it was past midnight and I had to work at 8, so I passed on going to some gay bar (to appease Curt, since he was pissy about being D.D.) and they took me home. I said goodnight to the guys, vowed that I wasn't a mooch and gave Tyrell a giant hug before they took off. I went to sleep with a slight buzz and having not spent a single dime. I kind of like being the only girl in a group of guys.

(3 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

"Did Howie Day try to rape you?" "WHAT?!?" [19 Jul 2005|10:12pm]
Today I was on my lunch break when I noticed I had a text message from Fergy (Sarah)saying, "I found ur glasses, oh yeah I met Howie Day last nite." So I called her and she told me that apparently Howie Day and Gavin DeGraw were driving through Pella on their tour and decided to stop at Woody's Bar because it looked "off the beaten path." I asked her if Howie Day assaulted her; I read in SPIN that he tried to keep some girl on this tour bus or something and he got arrested. She kind of freaked out but then settled down when she realized she or Hightower could've easily kicked his coked-out, skinny ass. I guess he stumbled into the bar with his manager right behind him saying, "Yeah, this is Howie Day. Y'know, Howie Day. Yup, Howie Day," flashing tons of cash everywhere in an attempt to get Howie Day laid. Hightower gave them a few comp'ed drinks (He gives everybody free drinks, even I get free drinks!) and they gave him a $50 tip then invited Sarah and him on their tour bus. Once on the bus Howie Day asked Hightower if he could get him some blow. Hightower said the closest shit he knew of was four hours away but that he could get pot for them. Howie Day and his manager declined because they "don't do depressants.."...yet they were in a bar. I thought the whole scenario was pretty funny. Moral of the story: Howie Day is a total douchebag...Like I ever had any doubt in my mind.

(2 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

"He always took the time to speak to me and I liked him for that." [15 Jul 2005|11:44am]
[ mood | bored ]

Long time no update...and I haven't really been busy, well, physically busy that is. A lot of shit has went down with my friends in Pella in the past month (breakdowns, Mayo clinic, cancer, infatuations, addictions, etc. etc.). I can't even get into now because there are still several things that happened which I just don't understand. Work is horrible but that's to be expected. Sometimes I get so angry at exhibitors/co-workers/florescent lighting that I literally have to clench my entire body to stop from screaming. I also find myself wanting to let out long Mars Volta style bellows when the office is too quiet. Maybe I'm a nerd, but I just want to go back to school already. I hate being apart of a TEAM.

(3 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

[20 Jun 2005|02:16pm]
Listening to "OK Computer" puts me in a trance at work. I read White Ninja comics while I'm supposed to be entering data. I need a nap.

(3 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

"You know that bitch? That bitch is a bitch." [17 Jun 2005|01:45pm]
[ mood | working ]

You know what the coolest thing about my summer job is? The glue sticks we use to seal mass amounts of envelopes are the same brand, Uhu, that Winston Smith uses in his collage art. Other than that, this job is totally uncool even though someone sent their entry back with a baby seal sticker that says "SAVE A SEAL: boycott Canadian seafood." Another entry had a cougar sticker; one envelope had an ice cream cone on it. At least I can listen to whatever music I want...No STAR 102.5 for me, thanks.

(Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

JEFFERTON ALIVE! Tom Goes to the Mayor is the best show ever! [13 Jun 2005|03:15pm]
[ mood | tired ]

My summer job always makes me realize that I don't want to do anything with my life. I don't want a career. I don't want to work in an office. I don't want my own desk. I don't even want money. Money is stupid. I'd rather go back to the barter system because I'm sure I'd be better at making beads or hunting animals for their pelts than entering Iowa State Fair entries into a tired, old computer. I spent the weekend in Pella. Sarah and I climbed the library fire escape and stole "No Trespassing" signs because we're cool like that. Her brother is visiting this week so I'll probably eat dinner with them one of these nights. He's pretty cool at least that's my impression of him from the brief amount of time I spent with him while in California. Sarah practically worships the ground he walks on so I'm always unsure of what to do or say when he's around. I don't want to embarass her or myself. She keeps telling me that her brother will stay up and drink all night with me. I'm thinking about Tennesee or is it Kentucky?...There's only an hour left of work and I already wish I was at home.

(Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

[10 Jun 2005|09:57am]
I woke up at 9 AM today! So there's that...I should go take a shower...or watch Spongebob.

(1 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

pleasepleaseplease [10 Jun 2005|12:01am]

I wish I was somewhere else. I haven't left the house in at least 3 days. I'm never tired at night and I sleep all day. But I guess that makes sense, since there's nothing worth waking up for anyway! I start work next week. I doubt anything will change. I kept saying that I was glad I wasn't living in Pella this summer but now I'm not so sure. I feel like I'm missing out on something. Everytime I call my friends they sound like they're having SUCH A GOOD TIME. It makes they mad when I tell them I haven't been doing anything and that I'm just ok. I've been trying to unpack and get my shit together but I can't. I just light incense, lay on my bed and my mind wanders. I listened to the album "Turn on the Bright Lights," on repeat all last night, through the thunder and the lightning. I woke up to a drum solo from the basement. You know my life.



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I guess there wasn't enough room for my foot.


(2 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

Someday we're all gonna run away from it all... [08 Jun 2005|12:48am]
[ mood | confused ]

This doesn't mean I'm back. In fact, I'm not even unpacked. If only I could rely on the kindness of my friends forever. I got a dress today. It's bright magenta, short and slutty. I also got a faux Rolling Stones tour shirt. It's big and baggy. I'll probably spend the weekend in Pella. Sarah's brother is coming to town. I want him to know that I'm not a jerk.

(Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

"I can dig more clams than you can, stupid!" [06 Jun 2005|11:19pm]



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            Stanley                         &                 Dorothy 

(1 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

Step into my airspace [02 May 2005|08:51pm]
[ mood | working ]

I'm posting a lot today. I think it's because I've been listening to so much music and hardly speaking aloud to anyone at all. Does anybody else appreciate Interpol (the band, not the organization) the way I do? Nothing like glacial, alt rock. The song "NYC" is really hitting close right about now...for some reason.


I had seven faces,
thought I knew which one to wear.
I'm sick of spending these lonely nights,
training myself not to care.

Subway is a porno,
and the pavements, they are a mess.
I know you've supported me for a long time,
somehow I'm not impressed.

(3 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

"You're a broken record or a scratched CD 'cause you don't know what a record's for..." [02 May 2005|04:53pm]
[ mood | busy ]

Does anyone out there remember the band Argos? 'Cause it's seriously the best stuff to listen to while typing your final seminar paper on J.M. Coetzee in the library. I remember that Mario was their drummer for a brief period of time. I miss that kid and his sister so much.

"Yes my dear, don't you know it's true?
Yes my dear, you show me and I'll show you.
Yeah yeah yeah."

(Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

[02 May 2005|02:00pm]
I plan to spend this week avoiding everybody...I'll see how that goes...

(1 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

[02 May 2005|11:37am]



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(Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

"I wish I could buy back the woman you stole." [28 Apr 2005|04:24pm]
[ mood | ow, my crap factory! ]

"Tell it like it is, but be careful how you tell it- and to whom."

For once a fortune cookie was actually right. That's what I get for being a sagittarius I guess. Thanks to Curt and his ability to download things warp speed, I'm completely addicted to the TV show "Lost" now. Seriously, it's the best show I've seen in a long time. It's all about this group of people whose plane crashes on an island inhabited by giant polar bears and other monsters...Ok, the way I describe it sounds really lame but the show is amazing. Every episode I watch is more jaw-dropping than the next. So yeah, I'M OBSESSED! Do you like the new background picture on my journal? It looks like a giant bruise. I like it. Tyrell picked me up like a baby last night. He kicked Emmalee in the face. I fought Sarah. I don't remember much else.

(6 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

[22 Apr 2005|05:27pm]
"Majoring in English is majoring in misery."-Billy Collins

You know, sometimes I think it's better never to meet a poet...because it kind of ruins everything. I'm afraid to find out what Lawrence Ferlinghetti is like.

(Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

[22 Apr 2005|11:34am]
Poet Billy Collins is on campus today. I guess that's kind of a big deal.

(Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

[21 Apr 2005|04:28pm]


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I miss the coast.

(1 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

This story has a happy ending. [21 Apr 2005|01:02am]
I wore my Clash t-shirt to the bar tonight. We were all up buying drinks when this 40 year old townie turns around and says "Hey guys! How's it going?" just like he knows us. Then he starts pointing at my chest and nodding and saying "The Clash! Yessss!" He moves closer to me and says, "Do you know who got The Clash started? What band inspired them?" I prentended not to hear him and paid for my dollar rum and coke, which ended up to be Coke colored rum. He said, "The Who! They opened for The Who in 1982." I smiled and said, "That's before my time." "Oh yeah, it's before my time too," he said and quickly took another drink of his beer. I laughed and ran away back to the booth. Everyone laughed at me. After several rounds of a drinkng game, I needed to go back to the bar. The creepy townie was standing at one end of the bar so me and Casey went to the opposite end. There we found Hightower. He bullshited with us for a bit and prentended not to be serving. I told him about the creepy guy and he said, "I was born in 1982. What a dirty old man!" He asked me what I wanted. I told him sex on the beach and he said that he couldn't right now because he was working. He said that Casey had already heard that joke; I asked him what time he got off. He gave me a drink and when I tried to pay him, he gave my money back and said, "Happy 420." I ONLY SPENT ONE DOLLAR AT THE BAR!...

(5 | Tell me off in the hotel lobby right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge )

[18 Apr 2005|01:03pm]
[ mood | blank ]

"Oh haven't you heard? Holly solves all the world's problems."


I'm sick and tired of caring about my friends, trying to help my friends, listening to my friends, doing little things to make my friend's lives easier, cheering my friends up and smiling at my friends as though none of us has insults lurking behind our lips. I'm tired of the people I'm most loyal to in my life making me feel like I'm a completely horrible person because I'm sarcastic. I'm not allowed to dwell on little points of politeness that would drive anyone of them to the point of being neurotic. So they don't call me to hang out anymore and then ignore me when I'm around because I look "morose." I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, "That's a pretty big word for a college drop-out." I feel like I'm stuck between Sarah and Emmalee. Sometimes, one of them is a better friend than the other...Then there are times when I can't stand neither of them. Everyday I see them become more and more alike. At the moment, I really don't want to live with Emmalee next year. She's a self-absorbed drama queen who's on the edge of a downward spiral and doesn't even recognize it. She probably thinks I'm a self-important, self-righteous bitch. I realize that part of being a friend is being supportive, but I can only listen to so many grand plans for second, third, fourth even fifth chances that I know will never come about because of laziness, stupidity and addiction. I'm not sorry that the novelty of smoking pot all day and night has worn off for me. If Curt wants to do coke, that's his decision. But he shouldn't expect me to listen and nod and understand when he explains that he just needs something different once a year. He'll never get away and go to school. He's left college three times for addiction reasons. He's never going to leave. Tyrell wants to be this actor but all he does is work and smoke pot. They're so pathetic and stupid I just want to beath them and yell "Wake the fuck up! Get the fuck out of here!" They surround themselves with the same depressing people. Different crowd, same situation. I don't think Tyrell even realizes how depressed he is. I don't think any of us ever really do.

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